Will Versus Weight

I am back on my plan, working hard. I mean that. It is all hard work. My diet works for me. It may not work for everyone, but it is do-able, even if it isn't what I would love to be doing, like eating what ever I want. I can't tell you how many times I have taken my girls out for a special treat lunch after church, or just anytime, and ordered nothing for myself. I can't tell you how many times I have walked past that bag of kettle cooked potato chips sitting in the kitchen and thought about how much I want one. You get the point. I am giving up things I want. I exercise now 6 days a week, even if it is just a little each day. I have a great set of exercise goals for myself that I find also very do-able, and very beneficial. I exercise even though sometimes it kills me. My legs hurt. My butt hurts. Everything hurts, but I do it. Losing weight isn't easy. It is a choice. Getting in shape isn't overnight. It is a daily act. If everything were instant ...

Yesterday was bad. Well, it started out well with my normal Sunday morning jog/walk. I ate a good lunch thanks to Zone bars. Then, the cheese started calling me. I opened the fridge to find a good snack for The Girls. What I found, was trouble in the form of medium cheddar. I got each girl a snack, and then I got myself one. Cheese and crackers for all. That would have been bad by itself, but once i started with the cheese, I couldn't stop. I ate cheese like they were going to stop milking cows and making it. I admit it, I cheese binged. I probably did because I have been denying myself any cheese for a while. That isn't a good strategy, because you end up over doing it when you do get the cheese. So, back to moderation I go. I will be good now. Binge over.

I am having a much harder time than I thought getting back on the wagon. Even though falling off hurt, it isn't nearly as difficult as getting back on. I can handle the guilt that I have been overindulging and blaming it on the semi vacation. I can not handle going back to eating the way I know I need to. I don't know if it is the over abundance of stress, or just trying to enjoy myself for a few days instead of being super strict, but I need to get back up there! My goals have a very strict time line. I will make it. I will get back up there!!

You see that wagon over there? Well that would be the wagon I fell off. It was a long hard fall, and it hurt. No. I suppose the fall itself felt pretty good. It meant I got to eat crap. It was the landing when I weighed this morning that hurt. So, I'm climbing back on the morning. I have a lot of ground to make up for that fall. Ick. Sometimes it is worth it, though.